A Prune of Questions

Why do I feel like I'm plus size when I'm actually a size 4, sometimes 6? Why do I clock a chubby woman when I see my reflection? How come my self-esteem often plummets down into a dark hole of compare and despair? Why do I feel like I just got dumped when I wasn’t even in a relationship? 

Is it the fucking heat that’s causing me to create this living hell? Is it just the on-going maintenance one has to do to recover from a lousy childhood? Is it because there is no god? Is it because there is a god but I don’t believe in it? Is it just because of…Trump? 

How come life is so hard at times? Why do I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing? How do people get married, have real jobs and watch Wolf Blitzer? How come everyone else got a tool box on how to live their life, but I didn’t? Where are my tools?  Why am I such a freak? 

Will I ever be confident? Will I ever love my body? Will I ever be comfortable wearing shorts? Why do my knees look so weird? 

Will I reach my full potential? Will I overcome my setbacks? Will I make a difference? Will I ever be at peace? 

Will I ever answer any of these questions? 

But more than anything, will Wolf Blitzer ever not be boring?