Teenage Dixie

September 29, 2019 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

I don’t know why so many older men were drawn to me when I was a teenager….a young girl without achievement or discernment for that matter. I had no idea who I was or what the world was and how I would fit in it. I was shy and rarely spoke. Often me listening, was me pretending to listen. Look him in the eyes. Nod my head. Act like what he said was profound. That was suppose to be funny. Laugh. I didn’t ask questions because I didn’t want to seem dumb. But the truth was, I was dumb. I was a dumb teenager.

ONE NIGHT STAND (PART ONE)

June 02, 2019 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

I didn’t remember his name. I don’t think he remembered mine. He said I looked like Adrian from Rocky, so he called me Adrian throughout the night. I had never seen the movie Rocky, but I assumed he was simultaneously putting me down while hitting on me. Wasn’t Adrian suppose to be like a dweeb or something? Whatever. I’ll take it. I called him Rocky to validate his flirtations. He didn’t resemble anything like Sylvester Stallone. He was 5’7, blonde, fit with small biceps. He was probably in his late twenties although he had an older vibe to him. An older vibe or even old age was a necessary trait that I needed in men in order for me to trust them. And not just with my vagina, but even with a smile. Because with that, came my imagination and my heart. Rocky had large, captivating hazel eyes that when locked with mine, triggered a longing. A longing for an exquisite fuck? Or was it more than that? His eyes told me he was sad…like me. He, too, had been hurt by life. I could tell he had been through some shit. Or maybe it was just the druggy glow in his eyes from lack of sleep that I was reading into? Either way, Rocky seemed like a real find at the after-hours Thai restaurant I frequented.

ACTING CLASS

April 21, 2019 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

Acting class is a great way to make new friends and connections. That’s how I got my first agent was through a referral from a friend in my acting class. Acting class is also a great way to develop a cocaine addiction. That’s how I found my first cocaine dealer was through a referral from a friend in my acting class. Sex, drugs, and memorizing lines…

Losing My Virginity (Part 1)

March 13, 2019 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

The first time I had sex was out of guilt.

Burger King Parking Lot

January 26, 2019 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

My mother chose drugs over me, and my dad chose his dick. My mother got murdered, and my dad did not. With his breathing life, he decided not to go to work and provide like a single father would might have done. Nor did he manage to be like a dad at all. Instead, he lived off my mother’s murdered inheritance and fucked. He fucked and fucked and fucked as much as he could. Sometimes screwing women over financially so he could then pay to fuck some more. I saw this with my own eyes. Often times, I was physically too close. I’d be in the back seat of the car, as a prostitute would blow my dad.

Hookin' (Part 1)

November 18, 2018 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

I had gotten dumped earlier during the day by Sal, my improv teacher boyfriend. I needed a drink or two or twelve so I decided to walk over to the Dresden, a trendy bar where my friend worked which wasn’t too far from my house. My friend, Betsy, was a cocktail waitress over there and would discreetly give me drinks that the bartender mistakenly made. The hangovers would be gnarly, but at least I was drinking for free. I was terrifyingly broke. I was 27 years old and had less than 20 dollars in my bank account. Now I was heartbroken and broke.

The Bone (Part 3)

August 26, 2018 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

I inadvertently felt protected by going home with this stranger. My hand clasped in his, my safety too. We walked less than a minute to his funky place, but cool/funky since it was in the Marigny Section of the French Quarter where all the artists lived. The Bone pulled out a key to unlock his white wooden gate. And then I remembered, I made out with a boy who lived upstairs. We went to high school together.

The Bone (Part 2)

August 19, 2018 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

It was one of my favorite summers. I never got carded at bars, and sometimes I wouldn’t even get charged for my cranberry vodkas. I would demurely wander into a bar and scope out the room. I felt like everyone was waiting for me to show up even though they didn’t know me like…they needed me. Whenever the bartender would say my drink was on the house, I assumed it was because he detected my star quality presence. Or perhaps he took pity on me. How come this teenage girl is all alone? She doesn’t have any friends? What’s wrong with her? So sad. Let her drink for free.

An Excerpt of a Break-Up

March 19, 2018 by Dixie Perkinson in personal narrative

We were in my car, breaking up for the 47th time. Although this time was different. Paul had been with someone else during our previous…hiatus. She was 19 or 20, some obnoxious age like that. It was the first time he had slept with anyone other than me since the 6 years we had been together, off and on. I had been with more than one person, of course. Even when we were an official couple, I wasn’t faithful. But it’s different for me. I needed sex all the time. I needed affection. If I didn’t have a man doting after me at all times, I felt like I didn’t exist. See, I’m weak. But Paul, he was different. He was strong. He was capable of loving. I wasn’t. He wasn’t suppose to fuck anything up. That was going to be me.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS

January 12, 2018 by Dixie Perkinson in life, sex

So…you guys are just rippin’-’n’-dippin,’ right? It’s getting hot and heavy, and you finally are able to let go and allow yourself to be in the moment and feeeeeel the magnitude of pleasure and passion all wrapped up in a thrust or a gentle nipple twist. The desire between you two is all-consuming. His breath is heavy as he grabs your hips and pulls you in. You can’t help but let out a moan. A squeal. A scream. You don’t care. Nothing matters in this point in time. You’ve surrendered all considerations of your body, anything that jiggles. Every concern about your life is put on hold and fuck that to-do list anyway. The only thing that matters is the two of you giving freely to one another. No boundaries. No barriers. It’s that fucking primal bliss that just feels so right and irrefutable. As he fervidly climaxes, you feel like a goddamn sex goddess. You both take a moment to just exist in that shared mutual euphoria. You now need to lovingly and gracefully undue your sweaty body after that heated sexual experience that’s almost impossible to put words to since all words fail to describe this type of exhilaration. Then it happens. The always unforeseen, ever explosive…queef.

BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

November 29, 2017 by Dixie Perkinson in life, sex

I’d rather have sex with a guy I barely know or even a guy who I know, but I can’t stand, than to masturbate. Sitting on some annoying guy’s face is easy, but being alone with my body and exploring me? Now that’s hard.